What kind of bird bird sings in the middle of the night?

I'm not a bird expert.   In fact, all I really know about birds, is that many are delicious when properly prepared.  They taste like chicken.  

But if you can't sleep because some crazy bird is singing his brains out in the middle of the night, I may be able to help. 

Does your bird sound like this?  If so, then your unwanted songster is a male Northern Mockingbird, advertising for a mate.

Mockingbirds have their own song,  but often mimic, or "mock" (hence the name), the song of other birds; or even the sound a barking dog or car alarm!   But according to the bird experts,  once the male Mockingbird finds a mate, he'll shut up.   How long does that take?  Experts say, usually no more than three weeks.  Usually.

The bad news is --- what, you thought "three weeks" was the bad news? --- sometimes the bachelor-bird isn’t a good dancer, and doesn't have a really rad car. In that case, your Mockingbird could be single — and singing — for a long time.   God forbid he's a "computer programmer mockingbird".  If so, you may as well just move.

But there is a simple solution.  And it doesn't involve firearms.  You just need to convince the bird that he has competition, and that YOU are the biggest, baddest male mockingbird in town! Do that, and he’ll pack up and move elsewhere. At least, that’s what’s happened every time I’ve had to do play this trick on my "Southern Californian", Northern Mockingbirds.

Now, don't worry.  You don’t need to flap around while wearing a bird-suit.   I mean, you certainly can, but it isn't required. 

You just need to make a recording of the bird singing, maybe five or ten minutes worth. Try to get close enough to get a reasonably good recording of the bird, with not too much wind or traffic noise.  Then, you just play the bird's song back to him, LOUDLY.   Play it at least as loud as he is, in a continuous loop.  Don't worry about your neighbors complaining.  They'll think it’s the damn bird.  Which it is, actually.

Now when you first start playing back the recording, the mockingbird will get quiet for a few moments.  But if it's working, he'll get even louder! . He’ll start SCREAMING his song, trying to intimidate you.  Battle of the bird-bands, so to speak. 


But your recording doesn’t get intimidated.  It ever gets tired.  And it never ever backs down.   He'll soon realize that YOU own these trees, and move on; start annoying the neighbors down the block.  

Hopefully though, your neighbors won’t use the same trick; or you may be in for a badminton game, with a REAL “birdie”! 

In that case, I suggest firearms.  ;-)